Duke Usleiva : Hark Baron, what is this nonsense I heareth that thou shalt leave.
Baron Etez : Alas, my fair Duke, thou art like a son to me, but hereunto the morn I must depart.
Duke Usleiva : Fie! How cannst thou leavest me here. I shall perish. Hath I not two feet? If thou pricks'd me with sword doth I not bleed; if thou stab me in the eye, doth it not squirt juices and make a poppingest sound? If I kick the ball doth it not sideways move?
Baron Etez : Alas, to Italy fortunes taketh me- the eagles doth circle and threaten my head. Alas, they threaten my Koala tea, thou knowest I must leave you.
Duke Usleiva : Then to Italy shalt I go too.
Baron Etez : Alas, I have signed a manuscript preventing me taking thou my son.
Duke Usleiva : Why doth thou starteth every sentence with 'alas'?
Baron Etez : Alas, the fates doth not allow me the finances for better script-writers- I have begged for better funding but I hath been denied. I gaveth facts of why I needeth such. Alas, I am one dimensional in script and the media hath an unnatural displeasure to my person so in print I must sound a little odd no matter if I be-est the true hero. Alas, I must go now.
(The good Baron leaves the stage- King Roy II enters from the other end)
Roy II: Duke Usleiva, art thou weady to giveth all for the wed.
Duke Usleiva: (soliloquy to the audience) What devilness is this? He arrives and wisheth me wed? I must not be abused- I must warn my friend Master Rano to escape before he suffers the same fate.
(Duke runs waving hands in girly fashion... ala Robben)
Roy II: What is this insolence? I wished him don the wed shiwt for the game and he wunneth away? I must weplaceth him with another. Guards- send for wireless Waul
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