Duke Usleiva awakes amidst white fluffy clouds
Duke Usleiva : Foresooth, alas I am slain?
God : Yis, but yous wul rise again laaaa.
Duke Usleiva : Be-eth this heaven?
God : Aye, 'tis scouse 'eavun. Through Shankly's pearly gates e'yer is all de carlsbg yous tinnie drink- an' thur ar 'arps playin' "You'll Never Walk Alone", know warra mean?
Duke Usleiva : And, pray-tell- over yonder- that dismall place of wood on the other side of the cloud. Be-eth that scouse hell?
God : Aye, dat is scouse 'ell. dee force yous ter dink chang beer- and choirs scream de z-cars theme whilst dee ay terrted.
Duke Usleiva : God, thou art also scouse? Thou doth soundeth like Jamie.
God : We're both from der pewl, know warra mean?
Duke Usleiva : I doth fear mine friend Jamie hath failed me. Here I lie dead. The genie Traore hath not me saved.
God : 'e 'asn't failed yous, evun now 'e rushes back ter make de wish ter de genie, Traore, darrell br'n yous back ter loife- like.
Duke Usleiva : I beseech thee God, what be that powder of white beside thee? Doth thou snorteth the powder?
God : 'ell nah yous divvie, that's me sugar fe me cuppa. Ay only snort goal lines.
Duke Usleiva : I feeleth myseth slippeth. Earth doth calleth mine body back. Shalt I return.
God : Do der pewl proud and yous wul retn.
Cue Tardis sound effects- Duke Usleiva flickers for a few seconds then disappears. God makes a cup of tea adds powdered sugar and milk.
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